DEALING WITH A RELAPSE TO PORN OR OUT OF CONTROL SEX

Pastor Mike slipped up again. He was focusing on how to quit porn but he was having a bad day. He was looking forward to spending some time with his wife (if you know what I mean). But she was like – I really had a long day and I really was planning to go to sleep early. She did indeed go to bed early and Mike hit the porn 5 minutes after she went to sleep. He watched until 1:50 AM.

5 hours later he woke up having a heat flash and feeling rotten. He paused to pray for forgiveness and did not feel a thing. Then he realized he had been slipping up on a pretty regular basis. He knew he needed to try something new to get his act together. He grabbed a pen and paper and decided to write out the consequences of his actions.

HOW TO STOP PORN? MAKE A PLAN

He wrote – when I fall into lust the light in my life disappears and darkness seems to move in. #2: Lately, my goal of growing my church 10% this year has been totally forgotten – been busy thinking about entertainment and worse. #3: Have been making bad financial decisions lately. I felt like I was in God’s blessing last month – is it slipping away? #4: Last month I was encouraging my church members to invite others to church and they did it. I was finding great joy in seeing these people saved.

Recently, I have been focusing on my own pleasure, now I have lost my focus on church growth and my joy level has gone from a 10 to a 4. #5: I often preach that relationships suffer when you get into sin. Yes, all of my relationships could use help right now. #6: Can’t sleep good anymore. #7: I have been sick lately – I noticed that God doesn’t really answer my prayers when I place pleasure and lust before Him.

Pastor Mike bowed his head and prayed: Father, I realize that your rules are for my own good and joy. Forgive me for my rebellion. From now on, I am going to review these consequences when tempted. Suddenly, he felt a warmth like Jesus was with him again. Yes, he always told his church people that real repentance was planning how you are going to change. Finally, this is the plan which gives a little bit of power on how to combat future triggers. (OOCS is short for out of control sex).

STOP PORN AND OOCS SEX BY INCREASED CONTROL OF EMOTIONS

We all have problems that lead to emotions which are often triggers to porn/sex addiction. So it helps to retrain your mind to react moderately to life’s constant issues. Self-pity, resentment, anger frustration, boredom or anything else that triggers your habit needs to be changed. Take notes of what emotions cause you issues. Then prepare, pray, and plan to react differently. Our minds will learn new habits. When you get angry daily you have that habit. Today, if you make plans to keep the anger under control you are starting to form new habits which will assist you in gaining self-control.

In life your emotions get out of control and what do you do when you get upset. One may look at porn or have illicit sex. To change we might spend a lot of time praying about the emotions that lead to bad habits.

Today, write down which emotions tend to lead you back to sex/pornography addiction?

STOP BY WATCHING OTHERS

Many people are doing things that help them stop porn triggers or ocs urges. Bill prayed 4 times per day that God would help him control his negative emotions.

If you have not accepted Christ and would like to, Pray, “Father forgive me of my sins. I accept you as my Savior.” If your faith is lacking, read “The Case for Christ” by Lee Strobel.

Lisa has decided to start a habit to say to herself 4 times a day that “my goal is to quit my sexual addiction. My priority is a healthy life, not short-term fun or short-lived excitement – my goal is to quit. Starting now, I will do things that satisfy.

Bible Reading: First Corinthians 1 and Matthew 1

GET RID OF PORN AND OOC SEX BY TURNING RAPIDLY AWAY

To get free from a sexual addiction or porn viewing be ready to fast forward movies or TV if nudity or sex is shown. If you look at any nudity or smut you will fall back into your addiction. It will either happen that day or that week. Find other things to do. Develop other habits.

Mike decided today to add ideas to his quitting porn journal.

Sometimes people struggle to break free from watching porn addiction because they have no idea about the purpose for their life. Rick Warren wrote an excellent book called “The Purpose Driven Life”. Try it today.

1 Corinthians 10:13 “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”

Second:

For many people, life runs them over leaving them in despair. But… it is a perfect excuse to fall. If we don’t run to Christ in times like these, despair will lead to depression, which ususally leads to a fall.

When life runs us over we can obey the Bible and 16 “Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

But until we make that a habit we need to learn to deal with dispair. Step #1 is to do a Google search of verses about despair:

Psalm 34:17-20 ESV

When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”

When in despair, read this every hour.

2 Corinthians 4:8-9 ESV

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;

When in despair, read this every hour.

1 Peter 5:7 ESV

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

Consider praying: “Father, show me what to think about today.”

1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

If we always keep our eyes and thoughts on scripture during despair and temptation, then, this verse is always true.

Romans 15:13 ESV

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”

When in despair, read this every hour.

Psalm 91:1-16 ESV

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

Jeremiah 29:11 ESV

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Consider praying: “Father, I believe that You will give me a future and a hope.”

Psalm 23:1-6 ESV

A Psalm of David. The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. …

When in despair, pray over this often.

Psalm 55:22 ESV /

Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.

When in despair, read this every hour.

Psalm 43:5 ESV

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.

2 Corinthians 1:3-5 ESV

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.

Consider praying: “Father, help me today. Teach me how to handle this situation. Show me how to learn so that I can someday help others.”

The power of the Holy Spirit fills us as we study these verses. When we pray and are filled with that power, then Psalm 23 becomes real to us.

Pray: Father, help me to quit porn and sex addiction, and to learn how to focus on other things instead of living in lust and to learn what to do instead.

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Thank you for reading day 4 of how to stop porn.

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