Stop The Addictions | Sex/porn freedom in 30 days: day 2
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Sex/porn freedom in 30 days: day 2

When porn/sex has become your master, then you have become its slave. It will take everything from you that
you will let it take, then it will continue to take other things.

Twelve step programs says that we should admit we are powerless over porn or out of control sex-that our lives had become unmanageable. If that makes sense write out five things for you that support this theory.
1. _____________________________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________________________________
5. _____________________________________________________________________

I really hate to admit that they are right. I most earnestly want to believe that I still have the power. But any “real” sex/porn addict has lost the power. If you still refuse to admit that you are powerless you may want to think about that over time.

Many of you are 100% aware that you agree with these programs on this. But if you don’t have the power, who does? There are two power sources for you. The first is to get help from a self help group. The second is your Higher Power.

Does God exist? Is there really a higher power? Thunderstorms, oceans, and fire have more power than you do. List three things that have more power than you do.

1._________________________________________________________

2._________________________________________________________

3._________________________________________________________

Did you learn about God at a Church as a child? ___________

Do you currently believe in God? _______

Do you know people who strongly believe in God who seem happy and fulfilled? ______

God has an overwhelming love for you. But we often put up a wall between ourselves and God and shut Him out. Over the next 29 days we will discover how to break down that wall so that you can experience God and be fully aware of His love.

It takes 18 to 254 days to form a new habit. I will repeat many things many times in this 40 day program. If you develop a habit of saying certain statements multiple times each day your thinking will change. Then your habits will change. The more you embrace this repetition the stronger your control over your addiction will become.

Let’s look in on people who have decided to quit to see what they are doing. Bill is focusing on reading more to replace his addiction. What activities would be good for you?

Lisa went to church last Sunday and she has plans with a new “platonic” girl friend tonight. She is also thinking about how daily Bible reading might be good for her.

Jim is starting a journal and filling it with ideas about quitting.

Mike keeps forgetting about the destruction his addiction has caused him so he plans to say to himself at least twice today: porn (and out of control sex) have caused me destruction and pain, they have in the past and they will in the future.

Say three times every day: “This temptation will go away if I don’t act on it. If I give in it will return and it may be even stronger next time. If I don’t give in it will go away and someday it will go away for good. I have the self control to change”. We will discuss the proof of this theory later.

When porn/sex has become your master, then you have become its slave. It will take everything from you that you will let it take, then it will continue to take other things.
List four reasons why believing in God could be good for you.

1.________________________________________

2.________________________________________

3.________________________________________

4.________________________________________

If you don’t believe in God currently that is OK. If He is real He will show Himself to you if you really seek Him. But it is very important that you are open to the possibility of God. If He is the Truth and the life then we really can’t flourish without Him.

For me I have found that I have more joy and real love in my life when I try to do things God’s way. Even if you struggle to believe what I say is true – you can still try it. Just ask Jesus to forgive you for your sins and accept Jesus Christ as your Savior.
It’s amazing how powerful you subconscious mind is. Every single time you do a new positive activity, your subconscious programs it into your brain. The more you do it, the more entrenched the program becomes. It becomes a habit that helps start to squeeze out bad habits.
Today: Jan is struggling with temptations so she decides to make a Relapse Prevention Card to Take with her:

An Example Relapse Prevention Card

The Four Ds

  1. Delay – Since cravings come in waves, if you can delay making a relapse decision for as little as 20 minutes you’ll generally find the cravings dissipate on their own.
  2. Distract – Craving time passes more quickly when engaged in a distracting activity for a few minutes.
  3. Deep breathing – Deep breathing exercises help you maintain calm and purpose when cravings hit, keeping you from making rash decisions.
  4. Drink a glass of water – Its healthy relaxing and it make you feel better.

Instructions

Fold a paper into four squares:

1.   On the first square, write out The Four Ds

2.   On the second square, write out 5 or 10 personally relevant distraction ideas

3.   On the third square, write out 3 or 4 of your most significant reasons for wanting to avoid falling

4.   On the fourth square, write out some negative expectations -accurate predictions for what will happen if you slip and fall.

Negative Expectations – When you’re about to relapse you tend to focus on positive expectations and gloss-over negative expectations.

Some examples of positive expectations are:

  • “I’d have such a good time if I did a few lines and went out dancing.” Or “I am so stressed right now– a little action would really relax me…”

Some examples of negative expectations are:

  • “If I fall tonight I will be tired at work and will reap destruction.” Or “If I start doing porn I won’t stop until I am stressed out and depressed.”

By writing down accurate negative expectation statements you provide a counter-balance for the positive expectation statements your addicted mind manufactures all on its own.

Consider how daily Bible reading may be good for your life. Write out what activities you will do today – add them to your notebook and see how many of them you can accomplish.

“We can accomplish almost anything within our ability if we but think we can.”
George Matthew Adams Overcoming Addiction Quote

Every day write down which day you just finished so that you can keep track of where to start tomorrow.

Write tips on how to quit in a notebook.

Determine to think about Spiritual things and new activities 15 times today. If you have nothing to do make it 50 times. You will at some point become what you think about.

Index

Day one:  overcoming cravings