Sex/Porn freedom in 40 days: day 36
Don’t give in to rationalizations. The mental pain of addiction withdrawal is real, and you’ll likely start telling yourself it’s ok to take up the habit again. Don’t listen to the voice telling you to start back up. Don’t give up on yourself when it starts to feel hard. Every bit of pain will be worth it in the end.
Addiction is sometimes the opposite of love. Plan new ways every day for how you will treat others with love. Plan 4 ways on how you will show love to God today. Plan to have a time and a place for Bible study and prayer today.
Work on sleeping well today. Try to get enough sleep and if your sleep is inconsistent or restless start to study deep breathing exercises and learn how to use them. You can fight your addiction better if you are well rested.
Covetousness is the mother of many vices. Expert Jerry Shirley shared the following:
“It is an excessive desire for something you don’t have. There’s nothing wrong w/ wanting certain things, like something better for your family, etc. But this is an excessive desire that compromises convictions to gain something you want.
The other commandments deal w/ actions, but this one with attitude. The others are about behavior, but this one is about our mind. “Don’t Steal” says keep your hands off. “Don’t Covet” says don’t even think about it!
It is the mother of the other 9 sins in the commandments:
No other gods = the covetous worships the gods of money, lust and materialism
Wars are waged because people coveted land or power
Don’t kill = many are killed every day by someone who wanted what they had.
Adultery = this always begins w/ covetousness, wanting the spouse of another.
Don’t Steal = this is obvious
The dictionary definition of “covetousness” is “grasping for more.”
This is the sin of selfishness. You’re never content. Dr. Lee Roberson calls this, “An ancient sin dogging the steps of modern man.”
I would like for us to notice three things about covetousness:
• A Debasing sin—it’ll turn you into someone else.
Eve coveted the fruit and it’s still stuck in man’s throat today!
• A Damning Sin—one to take seriously!
Ephesians 5:5
For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.
We need to work to develop habits which will line us up with God’s ways. Many of us will struggle but God knows our heart. We can all be clean today. Many can be clean this week. If we are weak we may feel like we will fall again and that God does not want us. But He wants people who love Him and who are trying to follow His ways.
Pray often if this sin torments you. Pray “Father, take this covetousness out of me.” Pray this as often as needed until you get it out of you.
Samson in the Bible coveted a woman and it caused the strongest toughest man in the world to be brought into slavery.
Get rid of illicit sex habits or porn by saying 3 times today “Wanting something I should not have, will bring me into slavery.”
Honoring God leads to increased blessing, dishonor takes away the blessings of God. Proverbs 3 says to fear the Lord and shun evil – this will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. When we honor God we start to receive the blessing of divine guidance. Proverbs 3:6 says “He will make your paths straight.
Proverbs 3 talks about how God will help us change our actions. Consistently live life God’s way and he will start to answer your prayers about quitting addiction.
Honoring God comes from sacrifice. We give money to God, we tell others about Jesus Christ instead of worshipping things that give us pleasure. We help others and we obey – These actions lead to the blessing of restoration and provision from God.
Coke is the highest selling brand of soda in the world. In the 80’s Pepsi came out with the Pepsi taste test. They said try Coke and Pepsi in a blind taste test and see which one tastes better. 57% of people who took the test said they liked Pepsi better.
Pepsi sales shot through the roof and Coke panicked. They quickly came up with a sweeter New Coke. But within a few weeks Coke drinker revolted. They did not like the sweeter Coke. Coke changed again and brought back old Coke now called Coke Classic bringing joy to the world again.
Is Pepsi better than Coke? Why did so many Coke lovers choose Pepsi in the test? It was because the first sip of Pepsi is sweeter but when you drink the whole bottle the sweetness is a negative for many people. Sin and addiction are exactly the same way, the first sip is sweet and fun. But quickly we remember we are again on the road to the Law of Diminishing returns.
If heavy temptation hits always pause to think about two things you can do right now that will give you increasing returns this week. If your life stinks right now you need to do things that will give you increasing returns and make your future better. Memorize the 3 P’s – Pause, pray, plan.
Key Point: When temptation is hard pause, pray and plan what you can do right now that will give you increasing returns this week.
Training and trusting: God knows what is best for you. When he does not allow you to have a desire of your heart, do you trust Him and still love Him? Did your actions help put up a blockade to getting your desire? Are you going to get angry at God when you don’t get what you want or will you trust God?
First Timothy 4:7 says to train yourself for Godliness. “Training” carries with it an athletic metaphor that would have been familiar to the people in Ephesus just as it is with you. Exceptional athletes are known for their exceptional training. They dedicate enormous amounts of time, energy, and effort to developing their skills. They plan their lives around their training, get up earlier than everyone else, work incredibly hard, and preserve. Their lives are marked by extreme intentionality. “No pain, no gain” is not just a motto; it is a way of life.
Paul is telling Timothy that we ought to have the same perspective of intentionality when it comes to godliness. The reality is that just like everything else in life godliness doesn’t come naturally or automatically; it requires intentional and difficult training. Godliness takes intentional effort, a decisive determination to say “no” to some things in order to say “yes” to others.
The spiritual disciplines include Bible memorization, prayer, fasting, corporate worship, journaling, giving, and acts of mercy. These are simply the means by which godliness is facilitated; they are the means by which the Spirit of God trains us to be godly. Without these disciplines and without intentional pursuit, godliness will not happen. This is stunningly simple: without intentionally putting yourself into a position to receive transforming grace, you will not become godly. The devil, your flesh, and the system of the world all work against it. Godliness is unnatural and therefore requires intentionality.
But this effort towards godliness leads to a double blessing. It affects life right now but it also has implications for the future. Sanctification is connected to glorification. 1 Corinthians 15:25 puts it this way: “Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.”
Michael Jordan shot hundreds of shots every day so he could win an NBA championship. You have something far more important to do than that. Would it be wise to get a couple of books so that we could train ourselves to worship God and spread the gospel?
Training takes discipline. The root word of discipline is disciple. How can you share what you have learned about discipline with others?
When we sin we prove that we have a worship problem. Are we busy worshipping God or are we spending too much time (which may become worship) on temporary pleasures. You are drawn to the temporary pleasure of addiction to escape, but instead it enslaves and traps you. Train yourself to choose satisfying healthy long term pleasures instead of temporary short term pleasures.
What is the # 1 reason you want to quit _________. Do you have a couple of other reasons? Pray 5-10 times per day: Father, help me focus on this fact. I want to quit _____ because of _________ or ___________!
1st Corinthians 6:9-10 New King James Version (NKJV)
9 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals,[a] nor sodomites, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.
Why does the Bible say that fornicators and adulterers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Why does 1st Corinthians 6 say the harsh things it says? It may be because when we accept Christ we join God’s army. There is a massive war going on. God has huge things for every person to do. At first He may only give us small things to do until we straighten up enough to do the huge things. But we need to train always to do the huge things while we do the small things.
When we commit the sins from Corinthians 6 the disobedience is a problem. But the real problem is God’s army went off to war and ____ stayed behind because of _____ . What should God do with the deserters? In 2017 in America virtually no one is taught about the urgency and importance of serving in God’s army. No one is taught to have a passion for winning the war. A passion for souls. A love for the people all around us dying and going to hell.
I focus on this passage regularly because I want to be fully aware of the war which is going on. I must quit any addictions so that I am able to do the task that God has for me to do.
Read Matthew 8, Proverbs 31 and James 4
For those of you who are now overcoming addiction, you now need to start helping others. If you are still too early in recovery to start helping others in a one on one situation you can start by praying for other addicts. Pray: “Father, bring people to this website and give them a chance to overcome addiction, find your love, start to find their purpose and starting to find joy again. You may be able to help others by advising them to go to a self help group like SA or AA. Think about, pray about and plan how you can help others both now – as well as in the future.
- Checklist for avoiding relapse: Form a plan with new places or people or activities that will help you avoid relapse. Have a list of people that you can reach out to for support when times get tough.
- Pray: Father help me to increase my toughness to be able to say no to my habit.
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Thank you for reading day 36 of this program on how to get rid of illicit sex habits or porn
Index
Day 1: Overcoming cravings
Day2 : Is God real?
Day 3: Quitting addiction exercises
Day 4: Getting negative emotions out
Day 5: You can never increase the amount of pleasure that you can have for the month by going back to an addiction
Day 6: Sin leads back to addiction
Day 7: Worshiping God helps us overcome addiction
Day 8: What causes you to stay addicted
Day 9: Develop positive addicitons
Day 10: Overcoming negative emotions
Day 11: You have some self control
Day 12: Always have a list of alternate activities to do when temptation hits
Day 13: Only living water can satisfy you for good
Day 14: Learning form the story of Adam and Eve
Day 15: Blessings and curses
Day 16: Self Control
Day 17: Self Control continued
Day 18: Learning to pray
Day 19: What kind of prayers does God answer
Day 21: Finding a Church that can help you
Day 22: Why is it so hard to quit
Day 23: plan plan plan
Day 24: Don’t condemn yourself
Day 25: Get the anger and negative emotions out
Day 26: Attack your addiction
Day 27: The mad cycle
Day 28: Practice coping skills
Day 29: Why we need to find our purpose
Day 30: We were created to worship, praise and serve God
Day 31: Addiction is a trap that takes our freedom away
Day 32: Learning how to start to live in God’s blessing
Day 33: Addiction has a life
Day 34 Learning to pray
Day 35: negative emotions lead to relapse