I was frustrated and confused when I was sixteen. I had successes at that age, making more money than any kid I knew. I was the athlete in my area. But, I was still completely empty inside, and I had zero joy.
The next paragraph mentions drug use. Please skip it if you need to.
Then I went to a Christian camp. My brother brought some special hash. It was going to be the greatest experience ever. It was okay, but in some ways, it was the culmination of all my frustrations. It gave me no joy. I was empty, and nothing I had tried was working.
Then the preacher preached a great sermon. I was convinced he believed that Jesus was the answer. That Jesus was special, He was someone who could change everything. He gave an altar call, and my brothers were watching. I went forward anyway. When I accepted Christ, it was like electricity went through my body. Love filled me completely. It was… wow.
After that great experience, I went home. I went to war with sin. I was going to be a Christian. But, I did not know what God wanted me to do, and I did not make it a habit to keep asking him. I drifted back into sin slowly. I had no direction.
Years later, I made it a point to ask God to “Show me what to do.” I started trying to do these things. I still struggled, but at least I had a bit of purpose. Then one day, I realized that my habit was ruining me. It had ruined a lot of things, and it was keeping me ruined.
I started to go to war with sin. I noticed a bit of blessing. I increased my war. I noticed a bit of joy. I increased my war. I felt like God was starting to be with me. I increased my war.
I started to realize that I could stop my habit. What! I can’t quit. I am the most addicted person in the world.
I was, but that old person was dying, and Jesus was right there waiting to replace him.
I increased my war against sin again. I fought every sin that led to my habit. I tried to fight every sin.
One day, with no drama, I quit. Since I was fully at war with sin, I fully felt God’s joy. Since I was trying to do what God wanted me to do, I fully felt God’s joy.
The next day I woke up. I thought, it would be the dumbest thing in the world to go back to my misery. I had found joy.
Years later, I have still not gone back.
Today I will go to war with sin again. Today, I will ask, “Father, what do You want me to do,” a bunch of times again. Because… I really like the way that life is when I live that way.
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