Sex/Porn freedom in 40 days: day 39
William Glasser from his book Positive Addiction noted the following.
“Very few of us realize how much we choose the misery in our lives. Even when we do, we still go ahead with the disastrous choice because we are convinced that we don’t have the strength to choose better. A child doesn’t give up in school, or a wife on her marriage, because each believes it’s a good move. They give up because they no longer have the strength to keep up the struggle.”
Glasser calls good addictions positive addictions because they “strengthen us and make our lives more satisfying. Positive addicts because, due to their addictions, they are almost always stronger than nonpositively addicted people who lead similar lives. With this added strength they live with more confidence, more creativity, and more happiness, and usually in much better health.”
He says “the problem is we don’t have the strength to do what will make us happy.” Instead we give up. “Some give up completely and more give up partly, not because they don’t want happiness-they want it as much as anyone else. They give up because at this miserable point in their lives, happiness in not even on their minds. What is on their minds is the hope that through giving up they will get relief from the constant misery of not having and of believing they probably never will have what they need.”
Many blot out of their minds what they might do to get stronger; they settle for a minimal life because they haven’t the strength for a better one. We choose a lot of our misery. And while your pain is reduced for a while when you give up it tends to return because you can’t give up permanently on what you need for happiness without suffering.”
He gives two basic solutions. His favorite positive addiction
is running. He loves this positive addiction because runners get high. When you run and push yourself a bit endorphins are released and you get what is called runners high. You feel great and over time you are increasing your power to do what you want to do (including quitting a negative addiction).
The second solution is meditation. When we pray to Jesus Christ we are meditation on Someone who has the power to help us. When we pray in God’s will we will see answers starting to emerge. For example I prayer “God take this anger out of me”. For me this was a massive fight but I could see God working on my anger because it was in his will for me to get it out. We need to pray about the many little things that lead us back into addiction.
Many people still get involved in things that are an abomination before God. Today I will list out most of the Biblical abominations. Fighting against these activities will be of great help in fighting your addiction. It will be an even greater help in allowing the Holy Spirit to work with power in your life.
Bible verses related to Abomination from the King James Version (KJV) by Relevance
Proverbs Chapter 6
16 These six [things] doth the LORD hate: yea, seven [are] an abomination unto him:
17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,
19 A false witness [that] speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.
Devising wicked imaginations (sinful thinking) will keep you in addiction. Focus on finding your purpose and thinking about good things at all times.
“Feet that are swift in running to mischief.” Yesterday I spent way too much time gaming (see stoptheaddictions2 if you have this issue). What mischief do you run to that probably (or for sure) upsets God? This bring us to a question: does God appreciate us fighting to avoid our addiction triggers? I think He does. Fight running to mischief with all your might. Remember the destruction it brings.
Other verses on abominations:
Leviticus 18:22 – Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it [is] abomination. Almighty God will reach out with great power and might to those who change and adopt a heterosexual lifestyle. Remember He came first. He made the rules. It was satan who conned people into breaking God’s rules. You are not being picked on if you are gay – we heterosexuals have plenty of things to repent about just like you do.
Proverbs 17:15 – He that justifieth the wicked, and he that condemneth the just, even they both [are] abomination to the LORD.
Deuteronomy 22:5 – The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so [are] abomination unto the LORD thy God. Don’t wear clothing that is specifically only for the opposite sex.
Proverbs 15:8 – The sacrifice of the wicked [is] an abomination to the LORD: but the prayer of the upright [is] his delight.
Proverbs 16:5 – Every one [that is] proud in heart [is] an abomination to the LORD: [though] hand [join] in hand, he shall not be unpunished. If you need help with your addiction spend time working at getting help. Be humble – get help.
Proverbs 28:9 – He that turneth away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayer [shall be] abomination. You can’t overestimate how important Bible reading and Bible study are!
Proverbs 11:20 – They that are of a froward heart [are] abomination to the LORD: but [such as are] upright in [their] way [are] his delight. God resists the proud (James 4:6) and the froward of heart and mouth is a proud heart and mouth and God is opposed to such a person or people. Anyone who is froward is constantly backsliding, twisted, distorted, or crooked and God will not accept such a person.
Proverbs 20:10 – Divers weights, [and] divers measures, both of them [are] alike abomination to the LORD. Don’t cheat and steal.
Print out verses which point out abominations you struggle with. Study these often. Abominations hold you back, hold the Holy Spirit back and they keep addictions closer. Get them out.
Commit to praying twice every day this month (or this year) about two weaknesses that you have that become triggers to addiction.
Read Matthew 11, and 1st John 4-5
Pray: Father help me to develop toughness to be able to say no to my habit.
9. Checklist for avoiding relapse: Realize that you have become stronger now. Your life may spin out of control for a bit and you start to slip up. You have crossed the line you know you should not cross. We know drinkers just can’t have that one drink, it leads to others. But you were not trying to set loose boundaries, you just honestly screwed up. You are now strong enough to stop and avoid destruction. Tell yourself and God “I am not trying to set loose boundaries, I am going to stop this relapse right now and fulfill my purpose and find joy”. You are stronger now!
- Pray: “Father give me the wisdom to write a prayer that will help me to start overcoming my addiction.” For example – you feel like your addiction has hurt your ability to be a great parent. You might pray “Father help me to care more about my kid’s future than I care about lust/pleasue.” Once you have that prayer that really speaks to what will motivate you – start praying it in earnest. You can pray it as many times each day as you want as long as you are sincere in increasing your desire to change with each prayer. God is not counting how many times I pray my prayer. He is looking at how my heart changes as I sincerely pray it each time and how I allow him to lead me to better choices because now (because of prayer and extra effort) I am starting to see reality clearer.
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Thank you for reading day 38 of this program on overcoming sex or porn addiction.
Index
Day 1: Overcoming cravings
Day2 : God is real?
Day 3: Quitting addiction exercises
Day 4: Getting negative emotions out
Day 5: You can never increase the amount of pleasure that you can have for the month by going back to an addiction
Day 6: Sin leads back to addiction
Day 7: Worshiping God helps us overcome addiction
Day 8: What causes you to stay addicted
Day 9: Develop positive addicitons
Day 10: Overcoming negative emotions
Day 11: You have some self control
Day 12: Always have a list of alternate activities to do when temptation hits
Day 13: Only living water can satisfy you for good
Day 14: Learning form the story of Adam and Eve
Day 15: Blessings and curses
Day 16: Self Control
Day 17: Self Control continued
Day 18: Learning to pray
Day 19: What kind of prayers does God answer
Day 21: Finding a Church that can help you
Day 22: Why is it so hard to quit
Day 23: plan plan plan
Day 24: Don’t condemn yourself
Day 25: Get the anger and negative emotions out
Day 26: Attack your addiction
Day 27: The mad cycle
Day 28: Practice coping skills
Day 29: Why we need to find our purpose
Day 30: We were created to worship, praise and serve God
Day 31: Addiction is a trap that takes our freedom away
Day 32: Learning how to start to live in God’s blessing
Day 33: Addiction has a life
Day 34 Learning to pray
Day 35: negative emotions lead to relapse
Day 36: covetousness
Day 37: Temperance
Day 38: The 12 steps
Day 39: Develop positive addictions