Our lives are unmanageable when we can’t use our feelings appropriately. If we insist on feeling a certain way based on external events we will continue with our habits.
If we insist on thinking a certain way no matter what we start to control our destiny. When we develop a habit of thinking a certain way we can next develop a habit of planning our actions is a more concrete way. I sometimes have such a lack of control of my thinking/feelings that I write what I “should think” on a paper 40 times.
For example Bill is a self-employed house handy man free from out of control sex for 15 days. But today things are not going well and all he can think about is sex. But he 100% knows that out of control behavior always end badly. But he can’t stop thinking about sex. He also has a job he needs to work on today, but he 100% does not care because all he can think about is sex. In a last ditch effort he calls his pastor.
His pastor says: “you need to focus on something else. Has your life been better in the last 15 days? Are you sleeping better, are relationships better, are finances better, are you in a better place with God. What can you do today for 15 minutes to start to turn this around?
Bill said: “for a few minutes I am going to write down what is better in my life. Then I will know what I should do today. Then I am going to write down 20 times what I will do today.” He then proceeds to write 20 times: work, pool, Ronny, TV, BS, 12, LTH. Which translates as: work 9-5, play a little pool, hang out with his buddy for a bit, watch TV for an hour, Bible study and prayer, go to bed on time, which LTH (leads to happiness).
We all want to be happy. We just remain confused, thinking our addiction is a magic key to happiness.
Today: change your thinking, change your focus, do whatever it takes to accomplish this. Bill made it through the day. He ended the day with prayer and Bible study which changed his focus for the next day. Bill is gaining traction.
If you are still stuggling you need to know exactly what leads you back into porn/out of control sex. Consider writing out in as much detail as you can, the thoughts, behaviors, actions, emotions, triggers, and sins that lead you back to this slavery. Ideally, you are organizing these signs by when they occur, i.e., the first sign when the issue is small, all the way to when it’s at its worst.
Now you can start to see a pattern. What happens that puts you 20% down that slippery path, what emotions put you 40% into falling, what behaviors (or lack of alternate behaviors) put you falling faster and faster.
What do you need to strengthen to avoid falling in the same way next time?
We have a choice about what we put on the inside of us. We need light inside of us not darkness. We fill our lives with light by getting the Word of God inside us. We do that by reading the Bible, meditating on it, memorizing it, quoting it and hearing it.
At the point when the crisis hits something on the inside of you is going to be squeezed out of you. Self control is not just something that is going to come in like a band aid after a situation arises. Self control is something that we develop. If you are a Christian you have a huge advantage because when you work hard to develop self control, the Holy Spirit works even harder to help you develop it.
One way we work to gain self control is by practicing denying ourselves. Always practice denying yourself of small things. Even by denying yourself things like too much sugar or TV is starting to learn self control.
Delay gratification. We want it and we want it now. Practice waiting until it is the right time to buy something or do something.
Practice everything in moderation. Most addicts need to quit their addiction completely. But it will help you to quit your addiction if you practice moderation in other areas of life.
Control the anger and other emotions. Self control is about calmly and slowly identifying the cause of your distress and irritation and finding a solution. Find calm and constructive solutions to your problems.
Take up sports or activities that teach you inner focus. Consider such activities as Bible study, prayer, meditation, etc. as forms of self-centering and learning to rely on God. These are excellent means for developing self-control.
Practice fighting temptation and learn how to wait until cravings go away. Cravings seem like they will last forever but they don’t. Keep doing other things and they will always go away.
What is your level of self control? If you are a one set a goal to become a 2 or a 3. If you are a 3 set a goal to become a 5 or a 6. Practice self control every day and ask God to help you with self control every morning, noon and night.
Pray, God put a guard over my mind and my willingness to think about my addictions.
Living in the Light
The Bible says that Jesus will free you from everything. So if we are not free, what is the problem? The problem is that we still choose to plug in to the gray. Are our everyday habits border line sin and border line activities which we know from past experience will lead us back to addiction sooner or later?
Instead we need to “fight” to live in the light. Let’s look at someone who is fighting to live in the light. Adrian listens to 5 chapters of the New Testament every day. Spends a fair amount of time in prayer every morning and evening. Spreads the gospel to every messed up friend possible. Works to increase in love every day. Tries to up the standards as often as possible.
Adrian is fighting to live in the light. Working to unplug from bad friends who reject living right and bad TV – (what do you need to unplug from)?
Living in White areas means living in the Light. If we make a decision to stop living in gray areas we now need to do something else. Living in the light means doing today (right now) what the Holy Spirit wants you to do. The Holy Spirit has a severe shortage of workers at all levels. He does not want you to wait until you are perfect to be a worker. He wants you to commit to trying to live for Him before you become a worker. He wants you to develop a level of skill in how to help others while starting to help others.
When you are fully committed the Holy Spirit will have the green light to start to change you more rapidly. When we choose to plug into the light all the time, then – Jesus will free you from everything.
Read John 14 and 1st Corinthians 14 and Proverbs 12
Continue to read the Purpose Driven Life
Pray “Father keep me from temptation”.
This is a reprint of an earlier article: Quitting a sex addiction
If this article has helped you, share it with your friends. Share buttons are below the index.
Thank you for reading day 17 of this program: Steps to quit a porn habit.
Index
Day 1: Overcoming cravings
Day2 : Is God real?
Day 3: Quitting addiction exercises
Day 4: Getting negative emotions out
Day 5: You can never increase the amount of pleasure that you can have for the month by going back to an addiction
Day 6: Sin leads back to addiction
Day 7: Worshiping God helps us overcome addiction
Day 8: What causes you to stay addicted
Day 9: Develop positive addicitons
Day 10: Overcoming negative emotions
Day 11: You have some self control
Day 12: Always have a list of alternate activities to do when temptation hits
Day 13: Only living water can satisfy you for good
Day 14: Learning form the story of Adam and Eve
Day 15: Blessings and curses
Day 16: Self Control
Quitting a sex addiction
I have a 40 day program called Sex/Porn freedom in 30 days (which you can access on the left). With that program I give you a few things to work on each day. Quite frankly I put in way more idea’s in this article than I should have put in for a single read. So you can choose to read this or start with day one of my 30 day program (which you can access on the left).
I usually start these articles by talking about the massive amounts of destruction the addiction will do to you. In this case I am not going to do that because many people know all about the destruction but they still can’t stop. But I will give you the short version. Quitting a sex addiction #1: a sex addiction will ruin you, destroy your health and sometimes harm others. But instead of dwelling on that I am going to talk a little bit about why many people struggle.
Addictions are popular when people have something missing in their lives or when they need to bury some pain or hurt. But when a sex addiction becomes an addiction it quickly becomes a dark hole where relationships, ethics and morals become a much lower priority than they should have.
Quitting a sex addiction #2: For some people one of the main reasons you indulge is because that is one of the few things that you feel like you have control over. It is your choice, it is your thing – it is who you are. But this is a cruel lie. A sex addiction is a force and it is a driving force. Quitting a sex addiction #3: There are some addictions that we think we are controlling but those addictions are actually controlling us. Over time a sex addiction cause a loss of control of everything.
So why do people keep indulging after they have decided to quit? In most people there is a dueling of personalities. Your mind tells you that you have to stop a sex addiction but your pleasure seeking flesh tells you that it will feel good.
Key Point #1 As long as you are ruled by the pleasure principle you will always struggle with addiction. The pleasure seeker may become selfish, immature, demanding and short sited. Quitting a sex addiction #4: In the long run, pleasure which is from an addiction always has a price to pay which is much higher than what you want to pay.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #5: Instead of being ruled by the pleasure principle strive to be ruled by the moral principle. The moral principle is wise and rational and it leads to real long term joy instead of fake short term pleasure which leads to destruction. This principle believes that rules like that of your country or laws from the Bible are there to make your life better. When you follow this principle you willingly give up your solution of choice (a sex addiction) in exchange for another activity. Quitting a sex addiction tip #6: The reason you make this choice is because you now believe that choosing an alternative activity will give you the best life over the next 7 days and longer. So if you stay clean today and develop new activities you may have a hard day today but your week and your future will be better.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #7: Always choose the Wisdom of staying clean today so that you can have a good life all week, and all year instead of giving in to the short term pleasure and destruction of a sex addiction for one day. Over time staying clean is a lifestyle which is always better.
A sex addiction is an escape for many people. One can escape from tension, anger, lack of success, pain and many other things. Quitting a sex addiction tip #8: We need to get rid of the escapist mindset because our one day of escape always ruins more than one day and it often ruins a whole week or longer. Along the same lines many have the philosophy that if it feels good do it. The problem is, that the feeling good of a few hours usually causes the feeling bad of a few days. Instead of having this damaging mindset, embrace finding your purpose, and living the right way which will lead to happiness over time.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #9: Develop the habit of thinking about other things all of the time instead of thinking about a sex addiction.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #10: We can see that being overly sensitive to emotional pain or failure is often a trigger to addiction. So first of all we need to be determined to be tougher and more emotionally ready for life’s constant problems. 2nd, negative emotions can lead us into addiction.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #11: we need to always work on getting rid of anger and other negative emotions which are often hidden triggers. Lastly we need to avoid circumstances which lead to negative emotions (if possible). Good planning and flexible planning can help you avoid circumstances which will trigger you.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #12: John Howard Prin also wrote “In time I learned that if my external motivation was strong enough, then my internal impulses could be curbed.”
For some people a great enough amount of pain or a change of thinking will cause them to change their behavior.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #13: If what you think about has changed, then your internal impulses can be controlled.
This is key point #2. You need to think about the benefits of quitting more often than you think about the experience of a sex addiction. Quitting a sex addiction tip #14: Make a note to remind yourself to do this untill it becomes a daily habit.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #15: You need to think more about the destruction a sex addiction causes you than you think about the pleasure/pain relief it gives.
But we have to be brutally honest: we are as sick as our addictions are. If your addictions are causing harm to others you need to immediately get outside help.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #16: Addiction tells us that something we can do (indulging in a sex addiction) can compensate for what is missing inside of us. It is a lie. Religion will tell you to quit a sex addiction. To control the fire that burns inside of you. But I will tell you that you need to increase the passion in your life. Your life needs to surge with more passion for something then it ever has before. You were created to have a dramatic impact on this world. Most of you have never experienced the rush of knowing what God wants you to do.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #17: “Solutions” Try Christianity. Study the Bible and learn how to get prayer answered (you will learn how in my 40 day program. Pray about negative emotions that may be a trigger for you. Learn to understand that the commands in the Bible are there so that you can avoid destruction and find real joy. Learn to understand the destruction of sin. Pray always about finding your purpose and learn about living in the glory of Jesus Christ. He will fill what is missing in your life but you have to figure out what He wants you to do. God wants you to find your purpose and He might someday want you to spread the Gospel. When you learn how to do what God wants you to do, you will start to have more passion and joy than you ever had.
Quitting a sex addiction
I have a 40 day program called Sex/Porn freedom in 30 days (which you can access on the left). With that program I give you a few things to work on each day. Quite frankly I put in way more idea’s in this article than I should have put in for a single read. So you can choose to read this or start with day one of my 30 day program (which you can access on the left).
I usually start these articles by talking about the massive amounts of destruction the addiction will do to you. In this case I am not going to do that because many people know all about the destruction but they still can’t stop. But I will give you the short version. Quitting a sex addiction #1: a sex addiction will ruin you, destroy your health and sometimes harm others. But instead of dwelling on that I am going to talk a little bit about why many people struggle.
Addictions are popular when people have something missing in their lives or when they need to bury some pain or hurt. But when a sex addiction becomes an addiction it quickly becomes a dark hole where relationships, ethics and morals become a much lower priority than they should have.
Quitting a sex addiction #2: For some people one of the main reasons you indulge is because that is one of the few things that you feel like you have control over. It is your choice, it is your thing – it is who you are. But this is a cruel lie. A sex addiction is a force and it is a driving force. Quitting a sex addiction #3: There are some addictions that we think we are controlling but those addictions are actually controlling us. Over time a sex addiction cause a loss of control of everything.
So why do people keep indulging after they have decided to quit? In most people there is a dueling of personalities. Your mind tells you that you have to stop a sex addiction but your pleasure seeking flesh tells you that it will feel good.
Key Point #1 As long as you are ruled by the pleasure principle you will always struggle with addiction. The pleasure seeker may become selfish, immature, demanding and short sited. Quitting a sex addiction #4: In the long run, pleasure which is from an addiction always has a price to pay which is much higher than what you want to pay.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #5: Instead of being ruled by the pleasure principle strive to be ruled by the moral principle. The moral principle is wise and rational and it leads to real long term joy instead of fake short term pleasure which leads to destruction. This principle believes that rules like that of your country or laws from the Bible are there to make your life better. When you follow this principle you willingly give up your solution of choice (a sex addiction) in exchange for another activity. Quitting a sex addiction tip #6: The reason you make this choice is because you now believe that choosing an alternative activity will give you the best life over the next 7 days and longer. So if you stay clean today and develop new activities you may have a hard day today but your week and your future will be better.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #7: Always choose the Wisdom of staying clean today so that you can have a good life all week, and all year instead of giving in to the short term pleasure and destruction of a sex addiction for one day. Over time staying clean is a lifestyle which is always better.
A sex addiction is an escape for many people. One can escape from tension, anger, lack of success, pain and many other things. Quitting a sex addiction tip #8: We need to get rid of the escapist mindset because our one day of escape always ruins more than one day and it often ruins a whole week or longer. Along the same lines many have the philosophy that if it feels good do it. The problem is, that the feeling good of a few hours usually causes the feeling bad of a few days. Instead of having this damaging mindset, embrace finding your purpose, and living the right way which will lead to happiness over time.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #9: Develop the habit of thinking about other things all of the time instead of thinking about a sex addiction.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #10: We can see that being overly sensitive to emotional pain or failure is often a trigger to addiction. So first of all we need to be determined to be tougher and more emotionally ready for life’s constant problems. 2nd, negative emotions can lead us into addiction.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #11: we need to always work on getting rid of anger and other negative emotions which are often hidden triggers. Lastly we need to avoid circumstances which lead to negative emotions (if possible). Good planning and flexible planning can help you avoid circumstances which will trigger you.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #12: John Howard Prin also wrote “In time I learned that if my external motivation was strong enough, then my internal impulses could be curbed.”
For some people a great enough amount of pain or a change of thinking will cause them to change their behavior.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #13: If what you think about has changed, then your internal impulses can be controlled.
This is key point #2. You need to think about the benefits of quitting more often than you think about the experience of a sex addiction. Quitting a sex addiction tip #14: Make a note to remind yourself to do this untill it becomes a daily habit.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #15: You need to think more about the destruction a sex addiction causes you than you think about the pleasure/pain relief it gives.
But we have to be brutally honest: we are as sick as our addictions are. If your addictions are causing harm to others you need to immediately get outside help.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #16: Addiction tells us that something we can do (indulging in a sex addiction) can compensate for what is missing inside of us. It is a lie. Religion will tell you to quit a sex addiction. To control the fire that burns inside of you. But I will tell you that you need to increase the passion in your life. Your life needs to surge with more passion for something then it ever has before. You were created to have a dramatic impact on this world. Most of you have never experienced the rush of knowing what God wants you to do.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #17: “Solutions” Try Christianity. Study the Bible and learn how to get prayer answered (you will learn how in my 40 day program. Pray about negative emotions that may be a trigger for you. Learn to understand that the commands in the Bible are there so that you can avoid destruction and find real joy. Learn to understand the destruction of sin. Pray always about finding your purpose and learn about living in the glory of Jesus Christ. He will fill what is missing in your life but you have to figure out what He wants you to do. God wants you to find your purpose and He might someday want you to spread the Gospel. When you learn how to do what God wants you to do, you will start to have more passion and joy than you ever had.
This is a reprint of an earlier article: Quitting a sex addiction
I have a 40 day program called Sex/Porn freedom in 30 days (which you can access on the left). With that program I give you a few things to work on each day. Quite frankly I put in way more idea’s in this article than I should have put in for a single read. So you can choose to read this or start with day one of my 30 day program (which you can access on the left).
I usually start these articles by talking about the massive amounts of destruction the addiction will do to you. In this case I am not going to do that because many people know all about the destruction but they still can’t stop. But I will give you the short version. Quitting a sex addiction #1: a sex addiction will ruin you, destroy your health and sometimes harm others. But instead of dwelling on that I am going to talk a little bit about why many people struggle.
Addictions are popular when people have something missing in their lives or when they need to bury some pain or hurt. But when a sex addiction becomes an addiction it quickly becomes a dark hole where relationships, ethics and morals become a much lower priority than they should have.
Quitting a sex addiction #2: For some people one of the main reasons you indulge is because that is one of the few things that you feel like you have control over. It is your choice, it is your thing – it is who you are. But this is a cruel lie. A sex addiction is a force and it is a driving force. Quitting a sex addiction #3: There are some addictions that we think we are controlling but those addictions are actually controlling us. Over time a sex addiction cause a loss of control of everything.
So why do people keep indulging after they have decided to quit? In most people there is a dueling of personalities. Your mind tells you that you have to stop a sex addiction but your pleasure seeking flesh tells you that it will feel good.
Key Point #1 As long as you are ruled by the pleasure principle you will always struggle with addiction. The pleasure seeker may become selfish, immature, demanding and short sited. Quitting a sex addiction #4: In the long run, pleasure which is from an addiction always has a price to pay which is much higher than what you want to pay.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #5: Instead of being ruled by the pleasure principle strive to be ruled by the moral principle. The moral principle is wise and rational and it leads to real long term joy instead of fake short term pleasure which leads to destruction. This principle believes that rules like that of your country or laws from the Bible are there to make your life better. When you follow this principle you willingly give up your solution of choice (a sex addiction) in exchange for another activity. Quitting a sex addiction tip #6: The reason you make this choice is because you now believe that choosing an alternative activity will give you the best life over the next 7 days and longer. So if you stay clean today and develop new activities you may have a hard day today but your week and your future will be better.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #7: Always choose the Wisdom of staying clean today so that you can have a good life all week, and all year instead of giving in to the short term pleasure and destruction of a sex addiction for one day. Over time staying clean is a lifestyle which is always better.
A sex addiction is an escape for many people. One can escape from tension, anger, lack of success, pain and many other things. Quitting a sex addiction tip #8: We need to get rid of the escapist mindset because our one day of escape always ruins more than one day and it often ruins a whole week or longer. Along the same lines many have the philosophy that if it feels good do it. The problem is, that the feeling good of a few hours usually causes the feeling bad of a few days. Instead of having this damaging mindset, embrace finding your purpose, and living the right way which will lead to happiness over time.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #9: Develop the habit of thinking about other things all of the time instead of thinking about a sex addiction.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #10: We can see that being overly sensitive to emotional pain or failure is often a trigger to addiction. So first of all we need to be determined to be tougher and more emotionally ready for life’s constant problems. 2nd, negative emotions can lead us into addiction.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #11: we need to always work on getting rid of anger and other negative emotions which are often hidden triggers. Lastly we need to avoid circumstances which lead to negative emotions (if possible). Good planning and flexible planning can help you avoid circumstances which will trigger you.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #12: John Howard Prin also wrote “In time I learned that if my external motivation was strong enough, then my internal impulses could be curbed.”
For some people a great enough amount of pain or a change of thinking will cause them to change their behavior.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #13: If what you think about has changed, then your internal impulses can be controlled.
This is key point #2. You need to think about the benefits of quitting more often than you think about the experience of a sex addiction. Quitting a sex addiction tip #14: Make a note to remind yourself to do this untill it becomes a daily habit.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #15: You need to think more about the destruction a sex addiction causes you than you think about the pleasure/pain relief it gives.
But we have to be brutally honest: we are as sick as our addictions are. If your addictions are causing harm to others you need to immediately get outside help.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #16: Addiction tells us that something we can do (indulging in a sex addiction) can compensate for what is missing inside of us. It is a lie. Religion will tell you to quit a sex addiction. To control the fire that burns inside of you. But I will tell you that you need to increase the passion in your life. Your life needs to surge with more passion for something then it ever has before. You were created to have a dramatic impact on this world. Most of you have never experienced the rush of knowing what God wants you to do.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #17: “Solutions” Try Christianity. Study the Bible and learn how to get prayer answered (you will learn how in my 40 day program. Pray about negative emotions that may be a trigger for you. Learn to understand that the commands in the Bible are there so that you can avoid destruction and find real joy. Learn to understand the destruction of sin. Pray always about finding your purpose and learn about living in the glory of Jesus Christ. He will fill what is missing in your life but you have to figure out what He wants you to do. God wants you to find your purpose and He might someday want you to spread the Gospel. When you learn how to do what God wants you to do, you will start to have more passion and joy than you ever had.
1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
David Hawkins book Breaking Everyday Addictions noted the following. “Stage two denial – In this stage, people have admitted that they have a problem but deny needing any kind of support. Addicts in recovery may revel in their newfound sobriety but see no need to take precautions against relapse.
I have met and worked with many people who are proud of themselves for facing their addiction. Having seen the light, they now believe themselves strong enough, smart enough, brave enough to avoid slipping back into the same old turmoil.
Stage three denial. Here, people may be willing to participate in a recovery program for a time but are unwilling to make a full commitment to “go to any length” to deal with the addiction. They fail to realize that recovery is a never-ending process that demands physical, emotional, and spiritual regeneration.
In each stage pride can present a huge obstacle. Individuals frequently maintain a willfulness to do things their own way”.
I can tell you that after many years of doing things my way I am now convinced that my way leads to disaster. Now the new me believes that doing things God’s way leads to long term joy and the beginnings of blessing. Now I believe that going to any extremes to quit my addictions is exactly the way I want to go. Now I believe that if I “care about other people” and go out of my way to help them the way Jesus wants me to – I will and am living a happy life.
Index
Day 1: Overcoming cravings
Day2 : Is God real?
Day 3: Quitting addiction exercises
Day 4: Getting negative emotions out
Day 5: You can never increase the amount of pleasure that you can have for the month by going back to an addiction
Day 6: Sin leads back to addiction
Day 7: Worshiping God helps us overcome addiction
Day 8: What causes you to stay addicted
Day 9: Develop positive addicitons
Day 10: Overcoming negative emotions
Day 11: You have some self control
Day 12: Always have a list of alternate activities to do when temptation hits
Day 13: Only living water can satisfy you for good
Day 14: Learning form the story of Adam and Eve
Day 15: Blessings and curses
Day 16: Self Control
Quitting a sex addiction
I have a 40 day program called Sex/Porn freedom in 30 days (which you can access on the left). With that program I give you a few things to work on each day. Quite frankly I put in way more idea’s in this article than I should have put in for a single read. So you can choose to read this or start with day one of my 30 day program (which you can access on the left).
I usually start these articles by talking about the massive amounts of destruction the addiction will do to you. In this case I am not going to do that because many people know all about the destruction but they still can’t stop. But I will give you the short version. Quitting a sex addiction #1: a sex addiction will ruin you, destroy your health and sometimes harm others. But instead of dwelling on that I am going to talk a little bit about why many people struggle.
Addictions are popular when people have something missing in their lives or when they need to bury some pain or hurt. But when a sex addiction becomes an addiction it quickly becomes a dark hole where relationships, ethics and morals become a much lower priority than they should have.
Quitting a sex addiction #2: For some people one of the main reasons you indulge is because that is one of the few things that you feel like you have control over. It is your choice, it is your thing – it is who you are. But this is a cruel lie. A sex addiction is a force and it is a driving force. Quitting a sex addiction #3: There are some addictions that we think we are controlling but those addictions are actually controlling us. Over time a sex addiction cause a loss of control of everything.
So why do people keep indulging after they have decided to quit? In most people there is a dueling of personalities. Your mind tells you that you have to stop a sex addiction but your pleasure seeking flesh tells you that it will feel good.
Key Point #1 As long as you are ruled by the pleasure principle you will always struggle with addiction. The pleasure seeker may become selfish, immature, demanding and short sited. Quitting a sex addiction #4: In the long run, pleasure which is from an addiction always has a price to pay which is much higher than what you want to pay.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #5: Instead of being ruled by the pleasure principle strive to be ruled by the moral principle. The moral principle is wise and rational and it leads to real long term joy instead of fake short term pleasure which leads to destruction. This principle believes that rules like that of your country or laws from the Bible are there to make your life better. When you follow this principle you willingly give up your solution of choice (a sex addiction) in exchange for another activity. Quitting a sex addiction tip #6: The reason you make this choice is because you now believe that choosing an alternative activity will give you the best life over the next 7 days and longer. So if you stay clean today and develop new activities you may have a hard day today but your week and your future will be better.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #7: Always choose the Wisdom of staying clean today so that you can have a good life all week, and all year instead of giving in to the short term pleasure and destruction of a sex addiction for one day. Over time staying clean is a lifestyle which is always better.
A sex addiction is an escape for many people. One can escape from tension, anger, lack of success, pain and many other things. Quitting a sex addiction tip #8: We need to get rid of the escapist mindset because our one day of escape always ruins more than one day and it often ruins a whole week or longer. Along the same lines many have the philosophy that if it feels good do it. The problem is, that the feeling good of a few hours usually causes the feeling bad of a few days. Instead of having this damaging mindset, embrace finding your purpose, and living the right way which will lead to happiness over time.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #9: Develop the habit of thinking about other things all of the time instead of thinking about a sex addiction.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #10: We can see that being overly sensitive to emotional pain or failure is often a trigger to addiction. So first of all we need to be determined to be tougher and more emotionally ready for life’s constant problems. 2nd, negative emotions can lead us into addiction.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #11: we need to always work on getting rid of anger and other negative emotions which are often hidden triggers. Lastly we need to avoid circumstances which lead to negative emotions (if possible). Good planning and flexible planning can help you avoid circumstances which will trigger you.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #12: John Howard Prin also wrote “In time I learned that if my external motivation was strong enough, then my internal impulses could be curbed.”
For some people a great enough amount of pain or a change of thinking will cause them to change their behavior.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #13: If what you think about has changed, then your internal impulses can be controlled.
This is key point #2. You need to think about the benefits of quitting more often than you think about the experience of a sex addiction. Quitting a sex addiction tip #14: Make a note to remind yourself to do this untill it becomes a daily habit.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #15: You need to think more about the destruction a sex addiction causes you than you think about the pleasure/pain relief it gives.
But we have to be brutally honest: we are as sick as our addictions are. If your addictions are causing harm to others you need to immediately get outside help.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #16: Addiction tells us that something we can do (indulging in a sex addiction) can compensate for what is missing inside of us. It is a lie. Religion will tell you to quit a sex addiction. To control the fire that burns inside of you. But I will tell you that you need to increase the passion in your life. Your life needs to surge with more passion for something then it ever has before. You were created to have a dramatic impact on this world. Most of you have never experienced the rush of knowing what God wants you to do.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #17: “Solutions” Try Christianity. Study the Bible and learn how to get prayer answered (you will learn how in my 40 day program. Pray about negative emotions that may be a trigger for you. Learn to understand that the commands in the Bible are there so that you can avoid destruction and find real joy. Learn to understand the destruction of sin. Pray always about finding your purpose and learn about living in the glory of Jesus Christ. He will fill what is missing in your life but you have to figure out what He wants you to do. God wants you to find your purpose and He might someday want you to spread the Gospel. When you learn how to do what God wants you to do, you will start to have more passion and joy than you ever had.
Quitting a sex addiction
I have a 40 day program called Sex/Porn freedom in 30 days (which you can access on the left). With that program I give you a few things to work on each day. Quite frankly I put in way more idea’s in this article than I should have put in for a single read. So you can choose to read this or start with day one of my 30 day program (which you can access on the left).
I usually start these articles by talking about the massive amounts of destruction the addiction will do to you. In this case I am not going to do that because many people know all about the destruction but they still can’t stop. But I will give you the short version. Quitting a sex addiction #1: a sex addiction will ruin you, destroy your health and sometimes harm others. But instead of dwelling on that I am going to talk a little bit about why many people struggle.
Addictions are popular when people have something missing in their lives or when they need to bury some pain or hurt. But when a sex addiction becomes an addiction it quickly becomes a dark hole where relationships, ethics and morals become a much lower priority than they should have.
Quitting a sex addiction #2: For some people one of the main reasons you indulge is because that is one of the few things that you feel like you have control over. It is your choice, it is your thing – it is who you are. But this is a cruel lie. A sex addiction is a force and it is a driving force. Quitting a sex addiction #3: There are some addictions that we think we are controlling but those addictions are actually controlling us. Over time a sex addiction cause a loss of control of everything.
So why do people keep indulging after they have decided to quit? In most people there is a dueling of personalities. Your mind tells you that you have to stop a sex addiction but your pleasure seeking flesh tells you that it will feel good.
Key Point #1 As long as you are ruled by the pleasure principle you will always struggle with addiction. The pleasure seeker may become selfish, immature, demanding and short sited. Quitting a sex addiction #4: In the long run, pleasure which is from an addiction always has a price to pay which is much higher than what you want to pay.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #5: Instead of being ruled by the pleasure principle strive to be ruled by the moral principle. The moral principle is wise and rational and it leads to real long term joy instead of fake short term pleasure which leads to destruction. This principle believes that rules like that of your country or laws from the Bible are there to make your life better. When you follow this principle you willingly give up your solution of choice (a sex addiction) in exchange for another activity. Quitting a sex addiction tip #6: The reason you make this choice is because you now believe that choosing an alternative activity will give you the best life over the next 7 days and longer. So if you stay clean today and develop new activities you may have a hard day today but your week and your future will be better.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #7: Always choose the Wisdom of staying clean today so that you can have a good life all week, and all year instead of giving in to the short term pleasure and destruction of a sex addiction for one day. Over time staying clean is a lifestyle which is always better.
A sex addiction is an escape for many people. One can escape from tension, anger, lack of success, pain and many other things. Quitting a sex addiction tip #8: We need to get rid of the escapist mindset because our one day of escape always ruins more than one day and it often ruins a whole week or longer. Along the same lines many have the philosophy that if it feels good do it. The problem is, that the feeling good of a few hours usually causes the feeling bad of a few days. Instead of having this damaging mindset, embrace finding your purpose, and living the right way which will lead to happiness over time.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #9: Develop the habit of thinking about other things all of the time instead of thinking about a sex addiction.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #10: We can see that being overly sensitive to emotional pain or failure is often a trigger to addiction. So first of all we need to be determined to be tougher and more emotionally ready for life’s constant problems. 2nd, negative emotions can lead us into addiction.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #11: we need to always work on getting rid of anger and other negative emotions which are often hidden triggers. Lastly we need to avoid circumstances which lead to negative emotions (if possible). Good planning and flexible planning can help you avoid circumstances which will trigger you.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #12: John Howard Prin also wrote “In time I learned that if my external motivation was strong enough, then my internal impulses could be curbed.”
For some people a great enough amount of pain or a change of thinking will cause them to change their behavior.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #13: If what you think about has changed, then your internal impulses can be controlled.
This is key point #2. You need to think about the benefits of quitting more often than you think about the experience of a sex addiction. Quitting a sex addiction tip #14: Make a note to remind yourself to do this untill it becomes a daily habit.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #15: You need to think more about the destruction a sex addiction causes you than you think about the pleasure/pain relief it gives.
But we have to be brutally honest: we are as sick as our addictions are. If your addictions are causing harm to others you need to immediately get outside help.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #16: Addiction tells us that something we can do (indulging in a sex addiction) can compensate for what is missing inside of us. It is a lie. Religion will tell you to quit a sex addiction. To control the fire that burns inside of you. But I will tell you that you need to increase the passion in your life. Your life needs to surge with more passion for something then it ever has before. You were created to have a dramatic impact on this world. Most of you have never experienced the rush of knowing what God wants you to do.
Quitting a sex addiction tip #17: “Solutions” Try Christianity. Study the Bible and learn how to get prayer answered (you will learn how in my 40 day program. Pray about negative emotions that may be a trigger for you. Learn to understand that the commands in the Bible are there so that you can avoid destruction and find real joy. Learn to understand the destruction of sin. Pray always about finding your purpose and learn about living in the glory of Jesus Christ. He will fill what is missing in your life but you have to figure out what He wants you to do. God wants you to find your purpose and He might someday want you to spread the Gospel. When you learn how to do what God wants you to do, you will start to have more passion and joy than you ever had.