Victimization is a form of Denial of your addiction. My wife left me for no good reason and I deserve to do at least one thing I enjoy. She doesn’t want to have sex with me so I will allow the destruction of Pornography into my life (if you would just say it that way (saying destruction) you would have a better chance of winning the fight. Or my husband treats me like dirt – I have the right to overeat/smoke. Victimization is saying to Almighty God – You are not big enough and great enough to make up for the mess I have made (or others have helped you make) of my life. The truth is we won’t spend enough time reading the Bible, praying, thanking God for all things and praising Him. Get rid of the excuse of victimization, be on the same page with God and find joy from a dedicated relationship with Jesus Christ.
You say “I want to quit but I just can’t overcome the cravings. So you need to learn about cravings.
Cravings are limited by time. If we don’t give in, it goes away. A craving can’t force you to do anything.
Every craving that you did not give in to has ended. In fact it is hard to keep having cravings for an extended period of time. Our mind is in constant change. Change is the typical state of the mind, not concentration. The mind will get tired of craving smoking or drugs and it will move on to something else.
Thomas Horvath in the workbook Sex, Drugs, gambling and Chocolate talks about how craving always end. They tire (fatigue), then they end. He wrote the following:
“Perhaps the most dramatic example of the fatigue principle is the elimination of hunger by fasting. In chapter 8 I mentioned that craving will increase until it is acted upon. The discomfort is why the craving is motivating, so the craving is often acted upon. But this is only the first part of the story. If the craving is not acted on, eventually it peaks and diminishes. If you skipped breakfast and skipped lunch, you might be quite hungry by mid-afternoon. But if you continue not eating, somewhere during the first 24 hours, for most individuals, hunger goes away. You obviously still need the food, but you no longer feel hungry. You could say that your nervous system got bored with feeling hungry, and moved on to feeling something else.
Just as your nervous system can get bored with feeling hungry, it can get bored with feeling anything. If you’re impulsive and tend to act quickly on your feelings, you might not have realized this. Feelings, like craving are time-limited. Learn to outwait them and your behavior can become much more stable.
You do not need to make a craving go away, it will go away on its own.”
What if someone said to you today – I will pay you $15 per day to not smoke. They say they will keep the money in a trust and give you $55,000 after 10 years of abstinence. Would you do it? What about $30 per day and a total of $110,000 in 10 Years?
This points to two things. #1 some of you smoke a lot which cost $15-35 per day or more. So by quitting you can get paid just by your abstinence. #2 If there can be a reward big enough to make you quit, this means something. When you say to yourself – “I couldn’t stop myself”, what you mean is I did not have enough motivation to stop at the moment of temptation.
All of us have some self control. If you maintained some relationship despite your addiction you have self control. If not in these ways, in some other way you show some self control.
If you often say to yourself – I can’t help it – I am out of control. You will forget the fact that you indeed have some self control. You may not have enough control to eliminate the addiction yet, but by remembering that you have some control and that you can do it, is a positive.
So remember the control you do have and learn how to build on it. If you believe you can do it and you have a specific plan on how you will do it with specific alternate activities, you can make it.
Read Proverbs 1
Continue to read the Purpose Driven Life.
…being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus Phil.1:6
Matthew 5 is about how we can change so that we will start to be blessed by God. www.relijournal.com noted the following
The Fourth Beatitude v6
God blesses those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
To want justice is to want righteousness. Righteousness is right living. Proverbs 21:21 tells us that we will find love, honor and justice when we search for righteousness. It means we are concerned about the welfare of others, seek out what is honest, stand firm, receive peace and joy and are rewarded by God. Being righteous is a lifestyle that Jesus approves of and it tells us that in Psalm 11:7. There are plenty more verses in the Bible that talk about how to live righteously and about how Jesus is righteous. It is fair to say therefore that God expects us to take notice of it.
We must do our best to want what is right for ourselves and other people and then God will make sure we are satisfied.
The Bible says “Be ye filled with the Holy Spirit. Peter from the Bible was mightily filled with the Spirit. If he walked by a man dying of cancer he would be instantly healed. All Christians have more or less of the Spirit in them. Christians who get more of the Spirit have key #1 to learn how to quit smoking. Christians who have less of the Spirit have more addictions. Why did Peter have more of the Spirit in him then I do. It was because he spent way more time working on being filled with the Spirit. It is an acquired gift. A person who works hard to run from sin, who spends a lot of time in prayer and Bible study will be more filled with the Spirit.
People with severe addictions get run over by life, get depressed and run back to their addiction. People filled with the Spirit get run over by life, keep their joy and continue to fufil their life’s purpose.
When can you pray more. While driving your car (only do this if it will not endanger you) mute the TV and pray during commercials.
The Holy Spirit is a fire that should be burning in us. When we truly acquire the fire, the addiction disappears. Find time to prayer more. But the prayers must be on fire, fervent, intense, original prayers pleading with Almighty God to change your life. We must pray to get the sin out, find our purpose, and kill our addiction.
If you are prepared for your darkest hour (which leads to addiction) you will be ready to fight your addiction in your darkest hour.
Psalm 33:18
But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love.
Ask God to help you to make it a habit to always plan your next few days. It is vital to plan because boredom is a trigger to relapse. Routine and concrete scheduling can be a lifesaver for an addict. A schedule, coupled with passion for a new hobby or sporting activity, allows people to successfully and happily break the cycle of boredom
Matthew 5 is about how we can change so that we will start to be blessed by God. www.relijournal.com noted the following
The Third Beatitude v5
God blesses those who are gentle and lowly,
for they will inherit the whole earth.
When we look in the Old Testament it says in Psalm 37:11 “The lowly will possess the land and will live in peace and prosperity”. Jesus was saying the same thing in our reading in Matthew when he said that those who are gentle and lowly, meaning humble or meek, will inherit the earth.
The Greek word for meek is praus and was used to refer to domesticated animals. The word does not refer to a wild, disobedient animal; it refers to a strong and powerful horse or ox that was trained and disciplined so that it could be controlled by a human.
The word lowly (or meek) used in this verse refers to a strong person who is under God’s control. They are controlled by God in every aspect of their lives, especially in their soul and spirit. Meekness is more than skin deep. It does not mean that we become weak. A meek or humble person cannot be walked over, but can be bold.
When we want to be powerful we ruin our chances of being humble and we can only become truly humble when we get to know Jesus because Jesus is the one who was a true servant (Matt 11:27-30)
Key Point: Write every prayer from this course on a 3 by 5 card and carry them with you wherever you go. Read and pray these prayers as often as you can (remember it is not the repetition that counts – you have to pray sincerely and urgently every time). We can only have the wrong output if we have the wrong input. We will predetermine in advance what our next action will be when we are tempted. If you pray enough your actions will begin to change. If you pray enough and your actions change enough you will never fall again.
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If you are on track great, if not review the red letters from day 2.
Thank you for reading day 9 of this program to learn how you can break a smoking habit.
Index
Day 1 Overcoming cravings
Day 2 Why can’t you quit
Day 3 Start a Journal
Day 4 Overcoming negative emotions
Day 5 You can’t increase your pleasure for the month by smoking
Day 6 Control your emotions and plan your day
Day 7 Learning how to worship God is a key to overcoming addiction
Day 8 Develop positive addictions