Sex/Porn freedom in 30 days: day 18
Is porn a mortal sin? Jesus said if we look with lust we have committed adultry (or fornication.) Since both of these are mortal sins it is vital to break a porn addiction. And if you consistently apply good principles to your life, you will break the habit and find increased joy in life.
One important discipline to learn is toughness. When all goes wrong in our lives many people want to let their lust run wild. We need the toughness to just say no when events start to lead back to our habits. Work on your toughness everywhere. At work your boss is a jerk. A tough person does not let it ruin their day. At home someone yells at you. A tough person forgives and forgets. Your children act like monsters. A tough parent forgives them (after they discipline them) and treats them with love. Pray every day for toughness. When you are tempted to fall again it takes a lot of toughness to say no. Work on this and pray about it every day.
How to pray to fight addiction
The first thing you say when you pray is the Lord’s Prayer. Matthew 6:9-13 9 After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.10 Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. 11 Give us this day our daily bread. 12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. 13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen. Verses 12 and 13 are key verses for addiction. 12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
Our debts, are our sins we have committed. It is wise to confess every sin we commit specifically to God. Yes He knows what you did. But we need to remind ourselves what we did so that we can remind ourselves about the destruction that is always caused by sin. To start to get help from God the key is to repent of our past sins and be determined to change. Now verse 13: And lead us not into temptation.
Key point #1 Pray sincerely every hour “God lead me not into temptation. This is a prayer God loves to answer. If you pray this prayer and also ask God where He wants to lead you, then you are really on to something.
Next you may want to spend 15 minutes praying to be filled with the love of Jesus Christ. We need to spend some time experiencing the Almighty God. He is real and he will answer some of your prayers positively. He loves to answer the prayer to be filled with love because God is love and he wants you to be filled with love the way he is filled with love.
The next question is, will he answer your prayer to quit your addiction? The answer is yes he will, but the question is, when will He do it. If you never ever look back at your addiction and if you have committed to God to never look back, he will answer your prayer today. For 99.9% of people, we want to look back. If you want to look back it will take a lot of prayer to straighten out your thinking until you no longer need to look back. If you still have a stash of booze, smut or other illicit items that drive your addiction, you are leaving the door open to look back. Get rid of everything that triggers your addiction before you tell God you are done for good. Despite the fact that you probably won’t get an instant miracle you should still prayer several times a day asking God to help you. As you pray you will start to realize that other things lead directly to your addiction. Things like anger, frustration, hopelessness and your refusal to forgive others, etc…
Key point #2 It is important to ask God to help you know what emotions lead to your continued addiction. This is another type of prayer that God loves to answer.
Key point # 3 Have a list of what negative emotions trigger your addiction and pray several times a day that God will help you to start to control them. For example, after thinking and praying about it you realize that your anger problem often is a trigger to your addiction. Now you can attack your anger problem with prayer several times per day. Ask God to help you control your anger. Ask God to take your anger out of you. You don’t get mad because something goes wrong; you get mad because you have the anger in you. We have all known someone who remains cool in a situation where we would have blown a fuse. They remain cool because they are not filled with anger like most of us are. When you discover what emotions tend to trigger your addiction you then pray that God will help you to control these emotions. God will be steadily answering prayers to control your emotions as long as you stay clean. As you see God taking these negative emotions out of your life you will feel a great increase of faith. For me, I don’t get a ton of prayers answered in my life, but when I consistently prayer for God to take my anger away, He starts to take it away and I begin to have more control in all aspects of my life.
Continue to read the Purpose Driven Life
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
Fenigstein likes to distinguish between guilt—which can spur addicts to make changes in their lives — and shame — which can trigger a relapse because they hold onto the belief that they’re bad people. Sometimes, it just takes time. For deeper wounds, it might take more: validating the other’s point of view while apologizing and then, doing better. However, if an addict has reached out and cleaned up her side of the street, as 12 step programs call it, then she shouldn’t continue to feel shame. “Forgiveness is a deeper concept, [and] I don’t think that people in recovery give it enough attention,” Fenigstein says. “People want it to be quick, simple and easy, but it’s not. It doesn’t work that way.”
But how do I forgive?
Fenigstein believes that a key to recovery is disciplining oneself to focus on what can be learned from past mistakes, rather than continuing to feel bad about them. “[It’s about] assisting people to mindfully be in the present,” he says. “Addicts struggle a whole lot with giving themselves credit for what’s working because they feel so much shame and guilt about the past.”
He stresses the importance of support groups, prayer, guided meditation and forgiveness education.
Paul says he tries to imagine how the other person is feeling. “I tend to switch places with the person,” he says. “What kind of day are they having? What could be going on with them? Taking a moment to be in their shoes often helps.” Jane says that she likes to imagine the person she is trying to forgive in their best light. “We did have some good times, so I try as much as possible to focus on those instead of the bad,” she says. “It helps me let go, and reminds me that things are never black-and-white, or either-or.”
Howes suggests writing a letter to the person who hurt you; or, speaking to an empty chair, pretending the person is sitting there listening. “That can be really powerful in ways that people don’t even understand,” he says. “The purpose is to not stay stuck in that anger.”
Jim says that when he is consistent on getting the sin out and praying to forgive his dad it really changes everything.
Don’t Ruin Tomorrow Today
Everyone who has a bad habit ruins tomorrow. The big problem is that for many people tomorrow is now today. Today they are stressed out, strung out, and totally frazzled from what happened yesterday.
This mad cycle will continue until you put in the work to snap out of it. To get rid of the problem of sex and porn addiction, remind yourself 3 times every day how you will feel tomorrow if you live a vibrant Christian life today. Next remind yourself (use this one only if reminding yourself is not a trigger) 3 times every day how you will feel tomorrow if you go back to your abomination. Lastly remind yourself 3 times every day for the rest of your life – “I will not ruin tomorrow today.”
Where your treasure is – is where your passion is. God loves you with an incredible love but he is a jealous God. He loves you so much that when you sin He is grieved. He is jealous that we treasure something more than Him. Our relationship with God is supposed to be like Adam and Eve’s relationship with God that they first had. They treasured their time with God because it gave them great pleasure. Doing things Gods way allowed them to live in paradise in the Garden of Eden. Then they messed it up.
Today we have a perfect chance to have a clean slate. A new perfect start with God. I know Christians who live their own little paradise here on earth. Their treasure is their relationship with Jesus Christ. They burn with a new passion for Jesus which has replaced their old worthless passion. They don’t fight against having passion – they have replaced it with something great.
When they have problems they fight so hard to overcome them that they don’t even lose their joy for one day.
God will always be jealous if we treasure addiction or sin over spending time with Him. Accept His love and treasure spending time with Him.
Read John 15 and 1st Corinthians 15 and Proverbs 13
Pray “Father keep me from temptation”.
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Thank you for reading day 18 of this program: is porn a mortal sin.
Index
Day 1: Overcoming cravings
Day2 : Is God real?
Day 3: Quitting addiction exercises
Day 4: Getting negative emotions out
Day 5: You can never increase the amount of pleasure that you can have for the month by going back to an addiction
Day 6: Sin leads back to addiction
Day 7: Worshiping God helps us overcome addiction
Day 8: What causes you to stay addicted
Day 9: Develop positive addicitons
Day 10: Overcoming negative emotions
Day 11: You have some self control
Day 12: Always have a list of alternate activities to do when temptation hits
Day 13: Only living water can satisfy you for good
Day 14: Learning form the story of Adam and Eve
Day 15: Blessings and curses
Day 16: Self Control
Day 17: Self Control continues