My parents got conned. A rare coin dealor called them at home. He told my mom he could sell her a coin that would double in value. The con is: after she buys the coin he calls her back 6 weeks later and says – that coin you bought for 2500 is now worth 3500. It just so happens that I have another coin that will go up just as fast. She buys that coin also and the next thing you know 13000 of their 48000 net worth is wrapped up in coins. At this point I find out about what they are doing. She has told the con man she will buy another coin. I tell her that it is a con and she can’t buy it. She says “I told him I would buy it, if I don’t I will then have lied. She bought the coin.
It was not that she didnt believe me that she bought the coin it was because she would not lie. Almighty God in heaven was watching her refuse to lie and I think He was happy with her. I would like to tell you that He was so happy with her that she got all her money back. But that did not happen. She got the greed bug and when it all played out their 16000 turned into 2200. They sold out a few years later for a big loss.
But the story has a happy ending. My mom turns 90 this year. She has her mind and her health. She still helps every single person that she can and she is blessed and has a full joy in her life. She is broke but she has food and good shelter. She tells everyone she can about Jesus Christ and she is a great witness.
Most of us have messed up just like she did. We put our pleasure and fun ahead of doing what is right and then we fall into sin. She refused to fall into sin even though she messed up big time. She would not even lie to the guy who was stealing from her.
Be like my mom. If at your hardest time God looks down on you and you are fighting to get the sin out you will get your reward. If at your hardest time you are working to help others you will get your reward.
I can tell you from my stockbroker days that I knew many old people who had nothing. They had 500,000 but they had nothing.
My mom is a very rich poor woman. If you want everthing, strive to have ethics and morals like my mom.
Negative emotions lead to relapse.
Which emotions lead you to fall
Write out what coping skill you will use when you feel each emotion that causes you to relapse. For example if anger is a problem say. When I get angry and am tempted to binge I will read “Battlefield of the mind” by Joyce Meyer. Or say, when I am bored and tempted to indulge I will call Bill or play chess.
If you don’t have a list of 6 or 8 activities to do when tempted to fall you should do that today.
If your addiction is severe you should practice these coping skills with a group or with your counselor. If you are on your own practice twice a day for the next three days saying “if I am tempted to overdo because of being down after getting angry I will _________________ (read Battlefield of the Mind). Give specific coping solutions based on the emotions that get you the most.
You must take instant action when you see a warning sign that temptation is coming. If you don’t you will fall.
David Quackenbush said the following:
There are times when our conduct is quite exemplary and other times when it can be deplorable. At times we are exemplify the epitomy of control and at other times we are like erupting vulcano’s.
1. TEMPERANCE DEFINED
The dictionary refers to it as:
1. moderation or self-restraint in action, statement, etc.; self-control.
2. habitual moderation in the indulgence of a natural appetite or passion.
Ned H. Holmgren said “Temperance means the abstinence from all that is evil, and the moderate use of all that is good.” (www.sermoncentral.com)
Discipline and temperance can often look very much a like but they do not necessarily produce the same end results. For instance two men walking by a book store in the airport both notice pornography books on the shelf. The first man says to himself, I shouldn’t look at that stuff. It’s wrong. So while he feels the strong pull of his carnal man he steels himself and continues walking away.
Now the second man he sees the same books and immediately feels a prick in his heart. He feels the old man’s desire but his heart responds with, ‘I don’t want to go there, I love the Lord and not only is this not be good for me, but it will break God’s heart.’
The first man and the second man both walk away and by appearances they have the same result. But did they. The first man is merely using his will, but the second man used not only his will but the “love for God”
2. Maturity Dictates Temperance
“One of the basic characteristics of infancy is a lack of self-control. Not only do babies need diapers, they must be carried because they lack the necessary control and muscle coordination to sit up much less walk or run. If babies are healthy and normal, in time they will develop more and more self-control—a sure sign of growth and maturity.”
So too in our spiritual life. If we are to mature in Christ, then it necessitates that we become more “Self-controlled.” By self- control I mean the controlling of “self” by submission to the Spirit of God. How then can you or I develop this “Temperance” in our lives.
If you want to develop the fruit of self-control, you have to do a couple of things:
1. Stop believing the lie! The lie that giving up that which will bring temperance in your life will be too painful.
(1) “M. Scott Peck writes in his book “The Road Less Traveled: “I spent much of my ninth summer on a bicycle. About a mile from our house the road went down a steep hill and turned sharply at the bottom. Coasting down the hill one morning, I felt my gathering speed to be ecstatic. To give up this ecstasy by applying brakes seemed an absurd self-punishment. So I resolved to simultaneously retain my speed and negotiate the corner. My ecstasy ended seconds later when I was propelled a dozen feet off the road into the woods. I was badly scratched and bleeding, and the front wheel of my new bike was twisted beyond use from its impact against a tree. I had been unwilling to suffer the pain of giving up my ecstatic speed in the interest of maintaining my balance around the corner. I learned, however, that the loss of balance is ultimately more painful than the giving up required to maintain balance.”
2. You must honestly answer these questions:
A. What am I a slave to?
• Food? Lust? Power? Money? The Past? Drugs? Alcohol? Gambling? Jealousy? Anger? You fill in the blank?
• Unless we are prepared to be honest with ourself and acknowledge areas in our lives where we do not have this kind of “Spirit Control” then we will remain enslaved
B. What do I have to say “no” to right now?
• In order to be free there are somethings we need to say no to
• Some things need to be removed from our lives
• The abstinence of all evil as Ned Holmgren put it
• Paul says all things are lawful, but not all things are expedient
• Sometimes we need to say no to things that are not necessarily evil in themselves in order that we may say yes to the things that are best
C. What do I have to say “yes” to right now?
• The Spirit’s promptings are not just about removing things from our lives
• It is also about saying yes to the right things
o Like attending church or bible study regularly
o Like reading your bible daily
o Like prayer
o Like attending mid-week home groups
o Like tithing
o Like serving
o You fill in the blank… what do you need to say yes to…
3. Then we need to confess them to the Lord and ask for forgiveness and help in light of these questions.
God is waiting eagerly to respond with new strength to each little act of self-control, small disciplines of prayer, feeble searching after him. And his children shall be filled if they will only hunger and thirst after what he offers.”
Read Psalm 9
Repeating this course 2 or 3 times will help you learn new habits. New habits give you power. When you gain power your addiction loses power.
Day 1: Cravings
Day 2: Develop positive addictions
Day 3: Start an overcoming addiction journal
Day 4: Controlling emotions
Day 5: Don’t sell your pleasure backwords
Day 6: With the Spirit we have liberty
Day 7: You have some self control
Day 8: Have coping statements
Day 9: Living water
Day 10: Learning from Genesis
Day 11: Consequences in Genesis
Day 12: Self control
Day 13: What leads to setbacks
Day 14: Learn toughness and learn how prayer helps with addiction
Day 15: What prayers does God answer
Day 16: Set goals
Day 17: Plan out what you will eat for the day
Day 18: Get the anger and other negative emotions out
Day 19: Addiction is a trap