Stop The Addictions | Sex/Porn freedom in 30 days: day 6
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Sex/Porn freedom in 30 days: day 6

Addictions have many causes, mental, physical, and spiritual as well as many others. But for hardcore long term addiction the spiritual aspect is often the dominant factor. Having said that, keep in mind that if you have a long term problem you need to consistently try everything that you can in every way to try to quit.

In this session we will start with the spiritual then see how it relates to everything else. So we will start out with a prayer. The prayer is “Father, help me to care only about quitting my addiction”. Obviously when we pray help me to care only we are not excluding caring about things like family or responsibilities, we are merely trying to exclude things that may lead back to addiction.

Example #1 We have a hardcore user, now clean for 9 days is called by a buddy who invites him to a sports event. The second he is invited he knows all his buddies who use will be there. But what is the harm they won’t be using (much) at the event. He goes and the very next day he is in full swing on a drug binge, the type that has almost always ended with him being broken in the past.

In this example he fully cared about quitting his addiction but he also badly wanted to go have fun. And let’s be honest when we are disciplined and schedule an alternative event it will not always be quite as much fun (if we are looking at fun from the viewpoint of a messed up addict (myself included). But if he had cared only about quitting his addiction he would have turned down the first offer where he knew he would fall into severe temptation and he would have found something else to do. He might be doing something only 80% as “exciting” that Friday night, but he could have just as much real joy from the evening and he could keep his joy for the whole week and he could have his life back.

Example #2 We have Ty who we have been following. He is a severe porn addict clean for 5 days now. He has been reading a book on controlling his emotions because he knows that when things go bad he always needs to be glued to his computor for 4 hours. On Sunday he wakes up highly determined to stay clean. He goes to church, after he gets home he reads his book and even underlines the parts he wants to think about later in the day and meditate on. Very strong indeed. Then his wife starts to nag him about their finances. He immediately blows up and gives her a long thorough piece of his mind. I don’t need to tell you how this story ends. But I will – on a 2 day binge that leaves him burnt out and depressed. When we pray Father, help me to care only about quitting my addiction, we are directly asking God to help us pause before blowing up. We are asking Him to make us realize how important it is to fight to control our emotions. Our partner or boss wants to start a fight but we now care only about quitting our addiction. Instead of blowing up we calmly give a short explanation and leave the room. If your boss or husband/wite insists on ragging at you, plan a short well rehearsed speech that will diffuse the situation. When they keep coming at you give them a well rehearsed puzzled look which will say to them, what is wrong with you. Then just stop talking.

Example #3 We have the hardcore drinker. Clean for 6 days now she is in the mood for a good movie. She loves her HBO and likes to rent movies often. She starts to watch a movie and notices that there is a major theme of smut and partying going on. Well, she is not going to give up that quickly for a movie that she paid good money for. After the movie ends she can’t get to the liquor store fast enough. The next morning she wakes up and wonders who she is with and where she is.

We often can’t change those around us and sometimes can’t change our situation. But we can change ourselves.
6 Matthew 18:21-22

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (NIV)

This answer by Jesus makes it clear that forgiveness is not easy for us. It’s not a one-time choice and then we automatically live in a state of forgiveness. Forgiveness may require a lifetime of forgiving, but it is important to the Lord.

We must continue forgiving until the matter is settled in our heart. When we don’t forgive we open up the door to addiction.

Sin leads to addiction. It helps to avoid renting movies and to avoid having movie channels like HBO, Showtime etc. If you get free movie channels that still show nudity block them so that you can’t even surf through them. If you want to find clean movies to watch, use the program guide to that you don’t wander upon a nude scene that will likely put you over the edge. For movie watching, wait for the movies to be on TV instead of paying for them. It is much easier to change the channel on a freebie. You have instant clean options with regular TV.

Make it a goal to be clean in all ways. Even when you stay clean from your addiction, if your mind is filled with dark evil things you will never find real joy. When we pray Father, help me to care only about quitting my addiction, we are directly asking God to show us if our movie channels or our this, or our that, are leading us directly back to our addiction. This is exactly the type of prayer that God answers.

It’s not that God does not want you to do fun things. He does not want you to do fun things that will destroy you.

Let’s continue to watch people who are trying to quit to see what they are doing. Joy focused on reading books that will help her control her impulses and the things that are out of control in her life.

Get books, articles, advice and add them to your journal. Underline key points of advice and review that advice often until it becomes a habitual part of your life.

After falling Ty prayed: Father forgive me of my sin. Help me to turn to you when things go bad. Ty decided to read even more often on how to control emotions and he determined to make it a habit to tell himself to turn away aggressively from thoughts of smut 5 times every day. For busy people we should say it 5 times per day, for others we need to say it every hour. To turn away aggressively means to turn away instantly from any emotions, situations, temptations, wrong people or anything else that may trip us up.

Every day Tom worked at analyzing what he was doing that leads him back to his sex addiction. Over time he started to really understand how his mind and emotions played tricks on him. This knowledge gave him more skills on how to fight his addiction.

God has unfailing love for us. Every day I will add another verse that talks about His unfailing love. Psalm 21:7 For the king trusts in the LORD; through the unfailing love of the Most High he will not be shaken.

Addiction is often accompanied by an unknown attitude of: “I have to have short term pleasure at any cost.” To fight this attitude pray: Father: take away my love of pleasure and fill me with a Spirit of toughness. A Spirit of toughness leads to God’s joy because we are saying that we will stop doing the wrong behavior. We will instead be tough and switch to an activity that we only sort of like. But it is an activity which avoids destruction and leads to long term joy and a chance to find our purpose.

Don’t Ruin Tomorrow Today

 

Everyone who has a bad habit ruins tomorrow. The big problem is that for many people tomorrow is now today. Today they are stressed out, strung out, and totally frazzled from what happened yesterday.

This mad cycle will continue until you put in the work to snap out of it. So first remind yourself 3 times every day how you will feel tomorrow if you live a vibrant Christian life today. Next remind yourself (use this one only if reminding yourself is not a trigger) 3 times every day how you will feel tomorrow if you go back to your abomination. Lastly remind yourself 3 times every day for the rest of your life – “I will not ruin tomorrow today.”

Read Matthew 3 and First Corinthans 3

Continue to read the Purpose Driven Life
Today say as often as it takes: I will turn away aggressively from addiction.

Journal overcoming addiction idea’s so you can refer to them any time.

Copyright 2015 © THR Publishing LLC

Index

Day 1: Overcoming cravings

Day2 : Is God real?

Day 3: Quitting addiction exercises

 

Day 4: Getting negative emotions out

Day 5: You can never increase the amount of pleasure that you can have for the month by going back to an addiction